After a few of the most challenging and heart wrenching weeks of my life—the details of which I will leave for another time—I am starting to feel like myself again. I am ready to recommit to my daily practice of solo loving and boy do I need it!
I began my official 30 Days of Masturbation on 11/11/10. This week has been all about exploring energetic sex in my self-stimulation. Last weekend I was the demo model for my mentor, Jaiya’s video on Energetic Sex. I had the pleasure of exchanging energy with sex educator Reid Mihalko and I started this week fully charged!
OK, so what is energetic sex? Energetic sex can be difficult to explain in words as it starts to sound a little “woo woo.” It is something that is most easily understood when it’s experienced in your own body.
Most of us have experienced the movement of energy in some form in our bodies—a chill that moves up our spine and goose pimples on your skin when a lover kisses you in just the right place or the tingling in your genitals when you start to get turned on.
If you close your eyes and tune into the layers of your body and your breath you might be able to feel the subtle movement of sensation as tingling or heat. You can also try rubbing your palms together really fast so that heat builds. Slowly separate your hands and bring them slowly back together. The heat that you are playing with between your hands is energy.
It is well understood in science, and particularly in quantum physics, that everything is made of energy. Many ancient traditions have practices for working with and cultivating this energy in our bodies—yoga, Tai Chi, Tantra, Qigong, Acupuncture, Shiatsu and the list goes on.
I believe that sexual energy is the nucleus of all energy and the core catalyst for everything we do, think and create. This is exactly why I’m so passionate about educating people around healthy sexuality.
The practice of energetic sex is learning to harness and expand your experience of sexual energy. Tapping into this energy can be a powerful way to manifest anything in your life. Everyone experiences sexual energy in a unique way. Some of us have a very physical experience of sexual energy and feel it as sensation and movement in the body. Others may have a more visual or aural experience seeing colors or hearing sounds and vibrations.
The fantastic thing about energetic sex is that you can do it alone or with a partner and you can do it fully clothed or naked. In my demo with Reid we were fully clothed and nothing sexual occurred other than the exchange of energy. What this looked like from the outside is our bodies touching in different positions. As we shared energy our bodies jerked and twitched we breathed, sighed and laughed. What the experience felt like for me is tingling shooting up my spine, the sensation of heat, chills and sometimes a full body orgasm.
The beautiful thing is that I can do all of this on my own and most often this is the case. Since I have opened myself to the possibility of moving my sexual energy it has become easier and easier for me tap into it and to feel more of it. Just sitting here I close my eyes become conscious of my breath and the energy that is moving through me. As I do this I start to have shivers, or kriyas, through my body. I think of something sexy and my vagina starts to pulsate.
This week I’ve used different techniques during my self-pleasure practice to build my sexual energy and to move it through my body. This is a way to feel more during sex, to begin to have full body orgasm and to manifest anything I want to call into my life.
The simplest way to start playing with your sexual energy is by pumping the muscles of your pelvic floor. These exercises are most commonly known as Kegels. Pelvic floor exercises are essential for sexual health and longevity for both men and women. (There is an entire blog on the pelvic floor and exercises coming next week)!
Exercise: Build your sexual energy by inhaling and drawing the pelvic floor muscles in and up. As you inhale and draw the energy up feel it rise up the back of your spine all the way to the top of your head. As you exhale, relax your pelvic floor and feel the energy cascade down the front of your body all the way to your pelvic floor. Continue the circuit for several minutes. (This exercise is based on the Taoist Microcosmic Orbit).
Remember that this is a practice and over time you can start to build your energetic muscles. Start by just being open to the possibility and start to notice how and when your sexual energy shows up.
For more check out a free teleclass with Reid here.
photo credit: yang-sheng.com